Reward System to get siblings to behave and work Together


Siblings fight! Plain and simple! Mine do love each other but because of the 5 year age gap, there are conflicts. My son likes to play with his lego’s Alone! He does not want anyone hearing him as he goes into his own land of make believe and therefore barricades his door so little sister does not enter to interrupt him. She is persistent and raps on his door, yelling and crying to get in. I run upstairs and try to coax her down. When that doesn’t work, I carry her wriggling, fighting body down with screaming tears attached. Arrrg! The conflicts continue throughout the day with one taking another’s toy and running away with it, laughing like a mad scientist and or when they mutually try to one up each other stating who is better at stacking blocks or who ate the most green beans at dinner. “I’m the winner!” “NO! I’m the winner!”

“STOP!!!! the mama is the Winner and will always be the winner!” Ok, so I lose it once in a while. Over the years I have devised reward systems for the children, however they were always crafted on an individual basis. This time would be different! I have a plan!

I decided to use a 10 point system With  a reward! Yes! You don’t work for free and neither do kids, So a reward system for their good work is encouraged. Here is the catch! Both children need to aquire 10 points by the end of the day otherwise neither of them receives their reward. If one received a point for telling the other they love them and the other reciprocates, they both receive a point on a piece of paper. One name in one column and one in the other. If one says a naughty word, a point gets taken away. The children strive to receive the same points as they go. They start to encourage each other to make the right choices and they are forced to stop and think about what they are going to say or do before they do it. Its almost like brainwashing them to have more compassion toward each other as well as me, their parent. Chores get done without moaning or a point gets taken away. Manners start to improve and harmony enters the room. I went easy on them the first few days so they could reach their 10 point goal and feel success. Once they knew the treats and prizes were just around the corner, they would work harder at attaining those precious last points. So, what was the result? Some pretty fantastic harmonious days! My 5 yr old daughter only said the  forbidden “ST” word, as she and my son coined it a total of two times in two days. The naughty word is Stupid! Don’t like it, especially coming out of my 5 yr old. So, this is my point system plan as of now and it is going quite well, I have to admit! Will it last the duration of the Summer? Maybe…but for now its all good and a bag of treats!



One thought on “Reward System to get siblings to behave and work Together

  1. It has been about 3 years since I wrote the blog post about Reward systems and how my children did well with it. I am now back to give an update. This worked for roughly a month, if that, to be completely honest. I have since re educated myself and learned quite a bit since that post. I now omit these reward systems. I found that my children were striving towards the wrong goals. The goal was not to do the right thing because it was the right thing to do, they were doing it to get “something.”
    Please read my latest blog on rewards. This will explain how flawed these point systems really are and what they do to kids. Peace out, and learn from this mama. We all make mistakes and we all learn.
    Have a great journey. Because the mama said so


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