When my sixth grader came home one day telling me how he sat alone at recess, it just made me want to cry. He told me that the kids he was hanging out with were trying to ditch him. I then had that familiar discussion how those kids were not really his friends. Learning social cues have always been a challenge for my son, and recognizing when he is not wanted , frequently went unnoticed. Now that my boy is older, he has become more aware of these things. I could talk until the cows come home about finding new friends or how he should just walk away if they started to be mean. This was not a solution, just a moms bla, bla, bla, same old thing.
When the other kids words became hurtful, the mama stepped in! I’m thinking, shoot..what am I allowing? These kids have been flying under the radar for so long. One of the parents children is on the school board. No one wants to deal with this kid, let alone his parents. I certainly do not want any uneasy awkward moments when I pass the mom down the hallway. The problem was that parents of these kids were nice! They were friends. Ones I conversed with on a weekly basis. It was an awkward situation all around no matter how you looked at it. So, I decided to speak to my sons teacher. I spoke to his pe teacher, his music teacher, his math teacher. Once the main characters were involved, things started to change. I asked his math teacher for help. I told him that my son needed some new friends. In less than a second he said ; “You got it!”
That afternoon changed my sons social life! Two boys from the other class approached my son and a friendship began. It was too easy! The next day, they all played hand ball. The following day they played zombie tag. The initial perpetrators were spoken to by the teacher and humbled, well one was. One of the children told my son that he was turning a new leaf and decided to be nice.
I was stunned. It was too good to be true, or was it? You see, my son attends a Christian school. Yes, bullies are everywhere. They don’t care what school they attend. The difference here is that the kids at my sons school go to chapel once a week. They learn a weekly Bible verse and are exposed to giving back to the less fortunate. The teachers have the freedom to speak to the children about Gods word. Its not about the parents getting involved or the kids getting in trouble. It’s about the kids having to answer to their creator. A power higher than their parents, their teachers, themselves. Being reminded of what Christ taught and how he blesses us when we do our best to follow him.
This same situation may have also happened at a public school without God involved. The resolve may have turned out the same, who knows. It just gives me joy and peace to know that a so called bully had his life changing event happen because of God and not because he had to go to the principals office. These kids, with the help of their teachers and sincere conscience, figured out what it was to be compassionate. Getting on the bandwagon by firing off to the parents was not the solution. By the grace of God, and a squeaky wheel, it got all worked out.
My son is developing friendships for the first time. He has learned where his loyalties lie, and who he can trust by the grace of God.
So, don’t jump the protective mama gun when you see your child wronged. Prayerfully and patiently do what you need to do depending on the situation. Give the kids a chance to work things out, because they may just do that. Have compassion for all children, even the bullies. They may just need to be reminded what it is to be a child of God.
Why? Because, Jesus said so.