Children’s names being written on “The Board” as a form of discipline and Public humiliation

Writing a child’s name on “The Board” as a form of punishment/discipline is a form of public humiliation and shame. It teaches he child that even after the issue had been resolved, all is still not forgiven. It’s an invisible “stain” that stays with them until the end of the day. The entire day is then emotionally based on that One stain. It’s doesn’t matter if the rest of the day was glorious. All has been ruined because of that stain. This form of public discipline is also a confidentiality breech, as every parent who enters at the close of the school day can see who was the the “trouble maker ” of the day.
Turning cards and clipping down is just another way of this public shame, however when the child’s school number is added in place of their actual name, it’s a less shaming method, nonetheless it’s still holds the same feel, however it is at least confidential.
Solution? Problem solve, roll play, forgive, and use natural consequences to discipline. If a child colors all over the tables, make them clean it up. If they say something unkind to another student, have them make a card of apology or ask them repeat in a nice way what they were trying to convey. If a name must be added to a list as a reminder that a parent needs to be spoken to, it can be done in a less public area, such as on a piece of paper on the teachers desk. The child is still required to write their name down, it’s just not public. As a matter of fact I think this name on the board thing is rather cruel. Could you imagine if we as adults were required to publicly display our shortcomings, sins, indiscretions on our chests as we strolled down the street? This is when I’m thankful for our Heavenly Father who died for those sins. This act of discipline is another way to be nosy as well. Who is this for? The child? The parents? The other children to see so they do not repeat what the first one did? Let’s move out of the Old School ways and stick to what is Biblical. Forgive, wipe those sins clean and wipe my kids name off of your righteous board.

Why? Because the mama said so.

The Confessional It’s a Pokemon thing….

In the confessional:

A middle aged man prepares to confess his sins to a Priest at a local church. “Forgive me father for I have sinned. I have lied and deceived over 200 times this week.”

The Priest, feeling a bit nervous as to what the stranger behind the curtain may confess says; “please proceed.”

Man: “Father, I have lied, and lied, and cannot stop! I can’t control myself!”

Priest; ” Go on..”

Man:
“When I am driving my car and log onto Pokemon Go, this message pops up. It asks me if I’m a passenger. I click YES! But I’m Not a passenger, I’m the driver! And most of the time the Pokemon I catch are not even worth it, I mean how many Ekans or Ratatta do I really need?” If it was a pikachu or some other rare Pokemon like a Blastoise, I could justify it, but it’s just these low CP Pokemon! Father! I need help! I’ve never felt so dishonest…

Priest: Ok, recite 5 Our Fathers and 4 Hail Mary’s.” The priest then pauses…”Don’t forget to click on the poke stop here. The church provides 3 poke balls and two great balls..sorry No Revives, that was used up 2,000 years ago. You can also get a Razz Berry and It would certainly be a SIN to miss out on that, you know.. The Fruit of the Spirit and all..
“Oh… ( the priest whisperes) I’ll reduce you penance to 1 Hail Mary if you tell me where you found that Blastoise?”

Mother’s Day expectations, keep them low

Mother’s Day expectations.

Another Mother’s Day has come to pass. The morning starts out typical with your husband,( if you have one) getting the kids to help make breakfast. You are made to stay in bed, when all you really want to do is take a shower and get dressed. Then comes the breakfast. Smiling faces, sweet and delightful. Each one claiming they made the eggs or poured the juice. You smile at the overcooked eggs and half burnt toast while the minions eagerly wait for you to take your first bite. Your youngest child eyes the perfect strawberry on your plate. You can’t help but to give it to her, now leaving you with everything that’s hardly edible. Gosh, you wanted that strawberry! Home made cards and gift is always nice. I am always truly grateful for Any effort my husband puts into this day and the fact that he is instilling that honoring their mother is important. I champion him for doing this, especially when he gets flack from the kids. This is not an easy day for dads, believe me!
It’s a sweet moment. Yes, I said moment. If you do not have plans to occupy the kids for the rest of the day, you are in for chaos. I recommend you either take off and leave the kids with dad, or fill the day with something! Once the fighting, screaming and finger pointing start, I officially say that Mother’s Day has ended. It’s no longer about the mom being spoiled, it’s about the mom being stressed because she had to break up fights and control her kids. Hello! I need a day off! It’s Mother’s Day! Dad comes out and scolds the children reminding them that it’s My day… Yadda yadda… And the kids just sulk. My poor husband who tries to make this day special is in agony. the kids are made to clean up their messes and make their beds. They whine. This has got to be the worst day of a kids life! Doing tons of chores and becoming my slave for the day, it’s no wonder they proclaim anarchy and become miserable beings. I think Mother’s Day is overrated. It would be much better if we did something the kids liked, that way, they would be happy, pleasant children and not be such miserable brats. I’m canceling this day and re-scheduling. Yup.. On a day without my kids. I’m a mother after all and I do love them, but this day is filled with unrealistic expectations. Good grief, my kids still need me to care for them and when you are a mother, there is No day off. So it’s time to suck it up buttercup! I can enjoy this day when my kids are grown and we can all go out to brunch like civil beings where kicking each other under the table is a thing of the past. As I write this, I’m on the other side of my home, in a closet far, far away from anything under the age of 12. So, I’ll
Take my overcooked eggs, half burnt toast and no strawberry and hide. I will read my beautiful cards and open my gift and enjoy the day as a regular day, because those expectations of a perfect Mother’s Day are just that… Unrealistic. Peace out and enjoy your day realistically and be blessed.
Why? Because the Mama Said So

Kids,Cul-de-Sacs, Jello Shots and Drunko Bunko

What’s happening with our young moms today? I see a high rise in alcoholism in the future. How is this behavior setting a good example for young children and Tweens?

Driving down beautiful planned community’s where we all feel safe. Perfectly manicured front yards, expensive cars, kids everywhere. Extravagant birthday and block parties with jump houses, professional entertainers. It’s all there, kids have it all.

Moms feel the pressure to one up their neighbors with these events,but hasn’t it been this way for decades? Sure, but now let’s bring alcohol out onto our cul-de -sac and take this to a whole new level. Moms gathered around with their wine glasses and cheese snacks. No juice boxes onsite.
I’m not against a drink once in a while. I enjoy Good wine. I actual consider myself a wine snob. Give me mediocre wine and I will politely pour it out Into the planter of your fake Ficus tree. If it’s doesn’t taste good, it doesn’t go down!
When stressed moms want to unwind, the glasses come out and often, especially in suburbia.

I took my kids out trick or treating in the “Exclusive neighborhood” We were having such a great time until we stopped at a home where one of the male figures of the house was offering Jell-O shots to the grown up trick or treaters. Yup! Dads are also on board. Those pretty little jello containers look appetizing the kids walking by, so what’s the deal? The dad was good on making it clear that the pretty little treats were for adults only. Good for that at least. A couple of houses later, more Jell-O shots. Solo cups were everywhere. Seriously, who drinks water while trick or treating… Oh wait, that’s no water!

A mom holding her “drink”with her toddler, barreling by in a red wagon just about took out my mom! My mom and her sarcasm announced her free public message to “Not Drink and Drive.”The mom was not very appreciative of the comment and gave us a look that might kill. I thought it was hilarious, not sure why she didn’t.
I was invited to join some moms for a game of Bunko. I asked what it was and the gal started explaining the rules to me. When she saw me looking confused she said bluntly, “Oh,we just get drunk anyway so it really doesn’t matter!  Thus coining the game Drunko Bunko. I said thank you and found something else to do that night.

I’m Sure the wine was mostly likely some cheap brand, so why? Being a wine snob can save a life and prevent alcoholism! It really can!
It’s a shame moms feel they have to unwind this way. The stress to be super mom and impress the neighbors. Come on mamas get more creative!
Get your card table with your cheap bottles of wine and cheese out of the middle of the cul- de-sac! I need to make a u turn so I can pick my kid up from baseball. And lady, if your going to host a mama drinking party on your street, at least get a good bottle of Caymus because that Cold Duck will
Just give you a bad headache.

Now all you mamas go out and have your self a real good time at the Tea House! that’s where it all is!

And just to be fair, my husband did sneak one of those pretty little adult Jell-O shots that night.. Yup…but not to worry, I set him strait. Husbands Are trainable! I promise!

Why?
Because The Mama Said So

Little Mary Tuntine’s Drama in the Lunch Line

 

Little Mary Tuntine was having drama in the lunch line.
Other kids would push and shove when Mary  tried not to budge.
She was small and not too fast and all the kids would run past.
She loved to eat her hot lunch, but that lunch line was just too much.
One day she lost it and said ” that is it!” Little Mary Tuntine pitched a fit. She hollered, cried, and pointed her finger, at the kid she claimed the perpetrator. ” You cut in front! You are a cutter! I’m ready to toss my bread and butter!” The lunch lady calmly took Mary aside, and said in her nicest voice” No drama in the lunch line. We must be patient with those cutters and never resort into tossing our butter.” Mary rubbed her nose and breathed a deep sigh, while the lunch lady wiped a tear from her eye. I’ll always watch out for you and those so called cutters, just remember some patience, I promise it will get better. ” Mary then put her arms up and loudly proclaimed, ” I, Mary Tuntine, promise no more drama, in the lunch line.”

 

When Kids are excluded from their peers

When my sixth grader came home one day telling me how he sat alone at recess, it just made me want to cry. He told me that the kids he was hanging out with were trying to ditch him. I then had that familiar discussion how those kids were not really his friends. Learning social cues have always been a challenge for my son, and recognizing when he is not wanted , frequently went unnoticed. Now that my boy is older, he has become more aware of these things. I could talk until the cows come home about finding new friends or how he should just walk away if they started to be mean. This was not a solution, just a moms bla, bla, bla, same old thing.

When  the other kids words became hurtful, the mama stepped in! I’m thinking, shoot..what am I allowing? These kids have been flying under the radar for so long. One of the parents children is on the school board. No one wants to deal with this kid, let alone his parents. I certainly do not want any uneasy awkward moments when I pass the mom down the hallway. The problem was that parents of these kids were nice! They were friends. Ones I conversed with on a weekly basis. It was an awkward situation all around no matter how you looked at it. So, I decided to speak to my sons teacher. I spoke to his pe teacher, his music teacher, his math teacher. Once the main characters were involved, things started to change. I asked his math teacher for help. I told him that my son needed some new friends. In less than a second he said ; “You got it!”

That afternoon changed my sons social life! Two boys from the other class approached my son and a friendship began. It was too easy! The next day, they all played hand ball. The following day they played zombie tag. The initial perpetrators were spoken to by the teacher and humbled, well one was. One of the children told my son that he was turning a new leaf and decided to be nice.

I was stunned. It was too good to be true, or was it? You see, my son attends a Christian school. Yes, bullies are everywhere. They don’t care what school they attend. The difference here is that the kids at my sons school go to chapel once a week. They learn a weekly Bible verse and are exposed to giving back to the less fortunate. The teachers have the freedom to speak to the children about Gods word. Its not about the parents getting involved or the kids getting in trouble. It’s about the kids having to answer to their creator. A power higher than their parents, their teachers, themselves. Being reminded of what Christ taught and how he blesses us when we do our best to follow him.

This same situation may have also happened at a public school without God involved. The resolve may have turned out the same, who knows. It just gives me joy and peace to know that a so called bully had his life changing event happen because of God and not because he had to go to the principals office. These kids, with the help of their teachers and sincere conscience, figured out what it was to be compassionate. Getting on the bandwagon by firing off to the parents was not the solution. By the grace of God, and a squeaky wheel, it got all worked out.

My son is developing friendships for the first time. He has learned where his loyalties lie, and who he can trust by the grace of God.

So, don’t jump the protective mama gun when you see your child wronged. Prayerfully and patiently do what you need to do depending on the situation. Give the kids a chance to work things out, because they may just do that. Have compassion for all children, even the bullies. They may just need to be reminded  what it is to be a child of God.

Why? Because, Jesus said so.